The OC Beach Scene

So apparently, there was an earthquake Thursday night, and once again…I missed it. Not “missed it” as in I was out of state, or in a plane, or skydiving or something, but as in the earthquake hit, shook the ground underneath my feet, rattled stuff around, possibly wreaked havoc in other parts of the state, and I didn’t feel a thing. Of course, this isn’t the first time I’ve missed a major seismic event. I slept soundly through the big 7.0 we had a few years back, half dozed through the Northridge quake…while in Northridge, and at approximately 7:30 Thursday night as I was eating my dinner and rocking Final Jeopardy, the entire South Coast went into spasmodic seizures completely without my noticing. So what’s the deal? Do I just have really amazing sea legs, or an inner ear made of steal? Or was Final Jeopardy simply too intense to notice the trivial rumblings of two plates crashing into one another in fierce battle? (By the way, the answer was The King and I…nailed it!) Whatever the case, I would like to have at least one earthquake story to e-mail grandma about. You know, something that would really freak her out…I’m thinking something along the lines of Volcano. Now that’s something I don’t think I could miss. However, barring the immaculate conception of a major, lava-spewing volcano in the metropolitan Los Angeles area, it appears as if plate tectonics and the like will forever remain a mystery to me.

After our short-lived stint of fun waves in Orange County, the ocean has once again gone dormant, leaving surfers to ask that ageless flat day question: what do I do now? My advice: take advantage of the sunny, cool-but-not-cold weather we have been having lately by exploring some of the undeveloped backcountry of Orange County!

Today, a friend and I paid our first visit to Caspers Wilderness Park, a cool nature preserve just a few minutes’ drive east of San Juan Capistrano on Ortega Highway. Beginning at the base of the Santa Ana Mountains and extending well into the foothills, Caspers Park has miles of trails, ranging from flat and easy to steep and strenuous, that provide nature lovers with the chance to see native Orange County wildlife up close. Along our six mile trek through Bell Canyon, we were able to see several hawks and osprey, woodpeckers, blue jays, and several other varieties of small birds. Luckily, we were able to avoid the mountain lions that signs posted throughout the park warned of, although the footsteps of fellow hikers never failed to provide a scare! (For advice on what to do in the rare event that you should encounter a mountain lion, check out this website). My favorite trail of the day was Quail Run, a short but steep path that connects the Bell Canyon and East Ridge trails. Winding along rocky hillsides and through thick patches of prickly pear cacti, this narrow trail really allows the hiker to come into close contact with the natural beauties of the park as the tall brush and cacti block out all other distractions. Although we were only a few minutes outside of the hustle and bustle of Orange County’s city centers, during our short trek down Quail Run, we were truly in a different world!

Forget Groundhog Day! While Punxutawney Phil (yikes, had to spellcheck that one) may not come out of hiding for another month or so, any surfer in Southern California will tell you the same thing–winter is on its way out!

As I made my way down the path this morning at Salt Creek, the sky was an ominous gray, my freezing feet stung with every step, and the shivering faces of surfers on their way up the hill let me know that the water would offer no relief from the cold; however, as I stood atop the bluff watching the solid southwest lines wrap aound the Point, it sure felt a lot like summer! That’s right–not a week into January and the first south swell of the year is already stoking out surfers up and down the coast! Summer spots like Lowers, Malibu, and yes, Doheny, were all firing today, and as the prognosis for the North Pacific continues to look bleak, we can only hope that those unseasonal storms will continue to churn in the Southern Hemisphere. Now, if only they could bring some warmer water with them!

Ok, so I know that in my past few posts I have been enthusiastically extolling the virtues of a cold, wet winter; however, after a solid week and a half of torrential rainfall, poor surf, and bone-chilling, windshield-icing temperatures, I have come to a painful, if somewhat obvious realization: winter sucks. My hate list:

1. Flat days. When the air temps are in the 40’s and the water is a muscle-cramping, hypothermia-inducing 55 degrees, there is no such thing as a “fun, small day.” Imagine it–your feet are numb, you wish your throbbing head was numb, the offshore winds are shooting needle-sharp droplets of ice water into your wincing face, and you have nothing to do except sit there like a lonely, dejected ice cube because, well, mother nature decided to sleep in this morning. Welcome to my painful reality.

2. The sand dance. I know I included this favorite cold weather pasttime in my Top Ten Reasons Why We Love Winter in the OC, but chalk that up to a failed attempt at positive thinking. I think I’d rather walk on hot coals. Or lay on a bed of needles. Or quit surfing until they introduce Marty McFly-style hover board technology into surfboard design so I could glide right over the sand without the threat of pinky toe cramp.

3. Christmas break. When I was a young lad still stuck behind the cold, steel bars of the public education system, I used to dream of shackle-free, shack-filled Christmas vacations down at the local beach. Now that I’ve graduated, I’m beginning to see why all those old guys get so grumpy come December.

4. Cold water duckdives. Another repeat from my top ten favorites. Ice cream headaches! Ouch, no thanks!

5. That guy with the bucket of hot water in his trunk. You know the type–has all the latest, most expensive gear, probably even has a pair of nifty webbed gloves. Likes to start up his Mercedes Kompressor before he changes so that it’s toasty warm inside by the time he’s ready to hit the road and get to the office. And the bucket–oh, the bucket. So enticing, so full of steamy, cold-defeating goodness, yet so…kooky. This man with his expensive no-zip wetsuit and hot water bucket tempts us. His excessive warmth tempts us–tempts us to join his emasculated, latte-drinking ranks–and for that he incites our rage. No surfer has ever drawn so much scorn and simultaneously so much envy since Slater guest starred on Baywatch and started dating Pamela Anderson. My advice: don’t be that guy.

This past weekend, the Orange County Register announced the winners of its 2008 “Surfer of the Year” awards. Taking home the reader’s choice award with over 3 million votes was Huntington Beach standout Brett Simpson. The Register’s surfing correspondent, Shawn Price, chose three more surfers that he felt were deserving of the prestigious annual award. Price’s pick for male Surfer of the Year was San Clemente local and noted big wave charger Greg Long. Price’s female Surfer of the Year nomination went to 16 year old up-and-comer Courtney Conlogue. Finally, a special award was given to Joey Buran, a former top professional and the current USA Surf Team head coach. Buran, who led Team USA to a bronze medal in this year’s ISA World Surfing Games, said he and his team of talented young surfers will be shooting for gold at the 2009 World Surf Games in Ecuador.

For more great surf news from the Orange County Register, check out their frequently updated beach blog.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always dreamed of that storybook Christmas. You know–snow on the ground and in the trees, a crackling fire in the fireplace, building snowmen and throwing snowballs after opening presents around a hand-cut, hand-picked tree. Needless to say, growing up in Southern California, this enchanting fairytale–this cliche Christmas–never quite came to fruition. I’ve been surfing on Christmas, been biking down PCH in shorts and a t-shirt on Christmas, even had a watergun fight in my front yard on Christmas, but I’ve never had that classic “White Christmas” forever immortalized in film and song.

However, today as the rain pattered on our rooftop and pooled in perfect splashing puddles on our front porch, I realized that, for me, this gloomy gray weather is as much a part of Christmas as sleds and snowmen and skis are for people in other parts of the country. I’ve grown accustomed to our winter weather–grown to love the sock-soaking rainfall, the tree-rattling winds, the gray afternoons that seamlessly fade into night. Bing Crosby, you can have your white Christmas–I’ve found my own rainy, winter wonderland.

For most of America (actually most of the Northern Hemisphere, for that matter), Christmas is all about taking sleigh rides down snowy lanes, sipping hot apple cider while baking pies at grandma’s, and roasting chestnuts on an open fire…or so I’ve been told. However, here in the OC, we do Christmas a little bit differently. So what’s it like? Does Santa come surfin’ in with his bag of goodies? Or does he cruise through Coto and Newport Coast and all the other uber-rich Orange County communities in a tricked-out H2 Hummer? (All that extra storage space=plenty of room for toys!) Do we still roast chestnuts on an open fire, or does that present too much of a fire hazard in our arid, brushfire prone region? Read on to find out all you need to know about celebrating Christmas, OC style.

1. Winter is really more of a “state of mind” here. We’ve got the look–faux-fur-lined parkas, snowflake-print wool sweaters, multi-colored, frilly-looking scarves, and–this one baffles even me–earmuffs. But the problem is, it’s still like 80 degrees here, we’re all sweating like crazy, the faux-fur on our faux-fur-lined parkas is damp and matted, and I’ve got a serious turtleneck tan. Nonetheless, a little sunshine never hurt anybody, especially in the sun-loving OC. Our solution to unseasonably mild (read: hot) winter weather? Flocked Christmas trees, Degree Ultra Dry (especially under those thick, cable-knit sweaters), and lukewarm hot chocolate (just kidding on the lukewarm hot chocolate, that’s gross).

2. Mall traffic. Every city, or state, or region has certain signifiers that let its residents know the new season is upon them. Here in the OC, its swallows in the springtime, girls in bikinis at the supermarket in the summer (rough life, I know), Santa Anas in the fall, and mall traffic in the winter. We love our malls in Orange County, so any religiously-sanctioned excuse to do some extra shopping results in a mad rush of crazies down to the local JC Penney. Seriously, in the 5 weeks or so between Black Friday and the after-Christmas sales, the sleepy streets of Orange County turn into a motorist’s worst nightmare, characterized by honking horns, obscene hand gestures, and Offspring-style road rage incidents. My advice: save gas money and your sanity by staying off the roads until the new year.

3. Uggs. As in, “Ugh, when will this ugly sheepskin boot trend die already?”

4. The snowboard/surf marathon. The whole “snowboard in the morning, surf in the evening” thing has become kind of a cliche for Orange County boardsports enthusiasts, but it’s still sort of a cool claim to fame. Personally though, after a long day of hitting the slopes, followed by an additional 2+ hours in a packed, stinky car, surfing, or any other kind of activity that requires my moving from the couch, is usually not very high on my post-snowboarding to-do list. Unless it’s firing, of course.

5. Sending presents to your favorite Orange County-themed blogger! Seriously, everybody’s doing it. For info on gift ideas and shipping intructions, feel free to drop me a line. For those unimaginative gift-givers, I do accept cash and/or gift cards.

Hello once again to my OC Beach Scene-starved friends! It’s been a while since my last post and a lot has changed in the interim–Thanksgiving came and went, Obama started smoking again, Brangelina adopted another baby (I’m only guessing here, but it must be true), and the cold gray of winter has finally settled upon us here in the OC! So, to celebrate the arrival of every So Cal surfer’s favorite season, I have come up with a list of the top ten reasons why we love winter in the OC:

1. Empty lineups. With the tourists returned safely to their Middle-American homes, and the weekend warrior and summer surfin’ safari types hitting the slopes instead, there are plenty of uncrowded, blissfully lonely surf sessions to be had. Sort of. The before work crowd and surf class kids can put a damper on early morning sessions, but the percentage of funboards in the water is noticeably smaller.

2. Football. I don’t watch it, but apparently many people–including jock, “surfing is my favorite form of exercise”-type surfers–do. So here’s to LT, chips and dip, commercial breaks, half time shows, two minute warnings, and whatever else is keeping these yoked-out kooks out of the water.

3. Murky brown water. Another great crowd deterrent and frequent sight during rainy Orange County winters. A little stank in one’s sesh never hurt anybody…just don’t swallow the water!

4. The sand dance. It’s like playing hot potato with your feet…except instead of a hot potato, you have freezing cold, toe-numbing sand to contend with. After a few seconds of the sand dance, the steely gray, shiver-inducing Pacific suddenly looks so much more inviting.

5. Cold water duckdives. Guaranteed to wake you up in the morning.

6. 4/3 wetsuits. Do I sometimes feel like a wimp for wearing an extra thick suit in water not much colder than the average summertime highs in Santa Cruz? Yes. Do I ever regret it? Not for one second. There’s nothing like breaking a sweat in 55 degree water!

7. Car heaters. Your lips are blue, your teeth are chattering, but all is right with the world as little black vents pump hot, pleather-scented air across your cold, corpse-like face.

8. Clean air. Take a deep breath–can you taste it? Me neither! In Southern California, that’s a good thing!

9. Great waves. Four letters, one unpronouncable abbreviation: NPAC. Between the months of November and March, this little word becomes the unofficial slogan of surf forecasting websites. So what does it mean? Awesome cold water waves! In the wintertime, the North Pacific comes alive, churning up huge storms off the Alaskan coast, sweeping unsuspecting Eskimos out to sea, and providing us with perfectly groomed swells down here in Southern California. While Orange County is known for its fun, summertime surf, my favorite memories will always be of cold winter mornings when the air is clear and crisp and the NW swell is pumping.

10. Christmas! Hey mom, are you reading this? I want a new wetsuit!

As Southern California surfers, we live for those magical fall mornings when howling offshore winds groom incoming Aleutian lines into crisp-lipped, barreling peaks; however, the past few days, we have seen the devastating effects that these winds can have on inland communities. Every fall, these hot, dry winds, known locally as the Santa Anas, come barreling out of the Great Basin towards the California coast, leaving perfectly shaped surf, and, less fortunately, prime wildfire conditions in their wake. Now, as we near the midway mark of what has been an uncharacteristically warm Southern California fall, the winds that are a surfer’s boon have become every homeowner’s bane as they continue to mercilessly lash flames toward residential neighborhoods across the Southland. We, as surfers, inhabit a precarious position between devastation and elation, chaos and concord as we tirelessly chase hurricanes and swim into rip currents and willingly take ice-cold set waves on the head; however, tonight, as the wildfires continue to rage in Los Angeles, and Santa Barbara, and Orange County, we pray for an end to the terrible destruction taking place at the hands of Mother Nature. We pray for thick, soupy fog and unsurfable slop. We pray for onshores.

In case you missed the big news (and I think it’s safe to say that you did), the Oxbow World Longboard Tour Championships were held this past weekend at San Onofre State Beach. That’s right, the World Championships. So why is it that no one knows this except for the handful of “pro” longboarders involved? Why do Surfline and the other surf media outlets seem more interested in reporting local NSSA results than covering this ASP-sanctioned event? And more importantly, why doesn’t the average longboarder care? Blame it on poor publicity, poor venue choice; however, the underlying issue behind the WLT’s failure to garner interest is its promotion of a dated system of judging and a type of maneuver or “trick” based longboarding that is rarely seen outside of competition.

In an era when few are making money from longboarding and even the sport’s top names are forced to supplement their incomes through other ventures such as art or music or clothing lines, the idea of a “professional” longboarder is becoming harder and harder to define. However, it is clear that the 40-odd “pros” competing in this year’s World Longboard “Tour” (it’s hard to call a two-leg championship series a “word tour”) no longer represent the best or the most progressive of today’s longboard community. Sure, these guys all have a full bag of tricks, including chop-hop airs, radical off-the-tops, and slo-mo carving 360’s; however, none of it is really progressive. It’s formulaic, its point-grovelling, and it was all done by shortboarders over 20 years ago. The real innovators of the sport–guys like Alex Knost, C.J. Nelson, Joel Tudor, and Dane Peterson, guys that are pushing longboarding from the tip as well as the tail–have wisely opted out of this farce of a professional tour. A telling moment in this weekend’s event came in Round 3, when 17 year old trialist and San O’ local Joe Aaron took down reigning world champ Phil Rajzman–and on a single fin, no less. Contest specialists like Rajzman, Josh Constable, Harley Ingleby (sorry, Harley)–guys that are highly touted by Oxbow and the surf press–are not the best in the world; in fact, they wouldn’t even garner a second look at your average California point break. They have merely exploited a system that has long been out of touch with modern longboard surfing.

On a final note, congratulations to Bonga Perkins, winner of this year’s WLT San Onofre and newly-crowned world champion. This angry diatribe is in no way meant to take away from your tremendous achievement and years of service to the longboard community. World title number two has been a long time coming–you deserve it!