The OC Beach Scene

Apologies to all of my beach-loving friends out there, but I feel that, with only 3 days to go until what is quite possibly the most important election of the modern era, The OC Beach Scene needs to start tackling the difficult political questions that my readers are asking. First off, what’s up with McCain’s weirdly short arms? Are we really ready to put aside our short arm biases and vote this ill-proportioned old man into office? I, for one, am not so sure. And what’s with all this talk about McCain reaching across the aisle to shake hands with his Democratic Senate brethren? Obviously, with those arms, that is a physical impossibility on par with midgets high-fiving and Lieutenant Dan “walking with Jesus” in heaven. On a more serious note, can we trust this anatomically-challenged senator to handle that important 3 A.M. phone call when he can’t even reach the nightstand? Can a short-armed man strong arm a political opponent? What does John McCain look like in a 3/4 length sleeve shirt? All important questions, my friends, and all questions that we should be asking ourselves as we head down to our local polling places this November 4th.